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Public update

Empty Stomachs, Warm Departures: Ministry Prioritizes Crematoriums in LPG Crisis

12 March 2026 - Pan India

Record date
12 Mar 2026
Location
Pan India
The odd part

The government ensures that while you might struggle to get a gas cylinder to cook dinner, your final exit is guaranteed to be fully fueled and on schedule.

What happened

As the national LPG shortage worsens due to geopolitical tensions in the Strait of Hormuz, the Ministry of Petroleum has released a priority list for gas allocation. While households are being told to embrace raw food and eateries are shutting down, the government has magnanimously prioritized 'essential services' like hospitals and crematoriums. Citizens are advised that while life is currently a struggle for fuel, the afterlife remains a high-priority, gas-guzzling success.

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